When we want to heal, grow or reach a certain goal, it is great to have someone by our side who can see what has been holding us back so far. A friend, mentor, or coach who can look at our situation from an outside perspective and thus reveal to us what we ourselves cannot see. Having someone who can uncover our blind spots allows us to move forward quickly and effectively and to achieve what seemed unreachable before.
But let’s face it: it takes far more than recognizing the blind spot and revealing it! Because: blind spots are ‘blind’ for a reason.
When we talk about blind spots we are talking about aspects of the self that are unconscious. And usually this goes far deeper than an unfavourable habit or that one topic that we are trying to avoid.
When parts of ourselves are unconscious, this is not an accident or a whim of nature. It always happens for a reason. And very often this reason is to protect us. Because many unconscious aspects of ourselves carry old, unhealed emotional wounds that were too painful to deal with before.
So when a blind spot like that gets exposed, the underlying wound gets addressed as well. And only if that wounded aspect feels ready and safe enough to be seen; only when we have the resources to finally heal that wound, the blockage will actually shift. However, if this is not given and the way the blind spot was revealed was too harsh, the natural protective reactions of our system may kick in and we shut down rather than open up and the desired change becomes more difficult.
Thus, the real key to achieving the desired shift lies not in exposing the blind spot, but in how this is approached. As coach, friend, and mentor we need to create an environment that feels safe for the most vulnerable aspects in the other. And we need the empathy to know what can be addressed directly without triggering the other too much. As a professional, I also believe we should be able to provide the resources needed to heal the underlying emotional wound or help make them accessible to the other within themselves.
It is truly amazing what great changes and breakthroughs can be attained if we address the pain below the pattern in a gentle and loving way rather than just bluntly exposing the blind spot.
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