For almost my entire adult life, I would feel down after meeting with my family of origin. Every time I came back, I would feel like there was something wrong with me. I felt weak and somehow broken, like I could not function in this world the way I was supposed to. It took me years to understand what had been going on and to break that pattern.
A while ago I went through a quite tough phase. A close friend of mine disappeared from one day to another. This triggered some severe trauma I had from my former boyfriend committing suicide and my demented dad being missing for months, before he was finally declared dead. Both incidents came seemingly out of the blue. One minute they were still there, the next they were dead. It was the unthinkable happening to me twice. And this made me anxious and suspicious for more drama happening in my life.
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