Getting the Law of Attraction right when it comes to healing

The Law of Attraction is the main law of this universe and I am sure you have heard about it in one way or another. As within so without. You attract what you are. You reap what you sow. And while all of this is true there is quite some confusion about that law when it comes to personal development and healing. Especially among people who are involved in healing, there are often some misunderstandings that make life difficult for us. And that is exactly what I want to put right for you here.

Yes, our external reality is a direct mirror of our internal world. Nothing we experience externally could exist if it wasn’t also inside of us. But these correlations are not always apparent straightaway and can often only be recognized at second glance.
When someone attacks you this does not necessarily mean you secretly want to attack people. There might be unresolved anger, yes. But most likely there are stagnant emotions of feeling violated or attacked yourself – because this is what you experienced in the past (and maybe even your ancestors so you inherited a predisposition for this) and did not have the resources, yet, to heal and integrate.
And when you experience a lot of drama it does not mean you deep down love the drama. More likely your need for love and connection was only ever met with drama so that you created an unconscious association between the two. And now your system is set up that way.


I have heard “diagnoses” like that a million times. If you want to end them attacking you just find the part in you that hates yourself. If you want the drama in your relationships to end just find out where you still love the drama. If this happens to you, you are just not loving yourself enough.
And really: neither is this true nor does it help! Telling people that they are just not loving themselves enough or that they chose it that way when they go through hard times will not make them feel better. And is also not providing them with the support they need to move through the experience. (Advice like that is really just a cop-out to avoid feeling the painful depth of the subject.)

So let me get this straight:

No one loves drama. 
No one chooses pain!
No one enjoys victimhood.

What it might tell us though is that our need for love and attention was so often only met with drama, pain, and rejection that this became our subconscious definition for that. What it shows us is that there is still an unhealed wound, an unconscious aspect of ourselves that feels the same way we feel in the current situation.
So rather than blaming yourself or others for attracting negative experiences and somehow unconsciously choosing them look for the parts within you that are in pain. Look for the aspects that need love and attention.

You are not the problem – you are in pain!
And only embracing the aspects within us (and others) that are in pain will heal us.